To some, I say "I'm sorry. It's too late. The letter has already been printed." I felt I should go downtown and drop this letter into the newspaper's box sometime between 9 to 5, to show people that there's more to stayin' alive than just being serious all the time. A balance of humor is also needed.
Most of us seem to be so uptight and intense that we overlook one of the things which we all share in common. That one thing is contemporary music. I love classical music, Christian music and some opera; but all of us (except for a few suspicious minds) see the common bond, which contemporary music has been, in bringing us together.
It is said that love will keep us together, but music is something our very souls use to meet one another and communicate on common ground.
Lately, when I've looked around (I get around), I've seen the way we were kung fu fighting (so to speak). We seem to be so many individual islands in the stream. But the tide is high and some of us are looking directly in the face of others and saying, "Don't go breaking my heart, because you don't want to see me act like a wild thing and start doing the monster mash."
Gentlemen, put your arm around that special girl you love and say, "Oh, pretty woman, it seems I work eight days a week and while away from you, I get dizzy just thinking about you."
(Reader, if you leave me now, you will miss the novel challenge of this letter…and you ain't seen nothing yet.)
If you love contemporary music (those songs which, we've decided as listeners have good vibrations), then don't go away little girl or pooh-pooh, Mr. Blue. Just use this letter as a bridge over troubled water.
Lady, if you haven't told that man lately that you cherish the memory of yesterday with him, then he may go out and purchase a book titled "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover."
And sir, if you don't tell her "This guy's in love with you" and ask her "Are you lonesome tonight?" she may put you on a midnight train to Georgia.
Show her respect and say, "I want to hold your hand." If she has closed the door on you, just knock three times. Say, "Hey, Paula, I'll be there, honey." (If her name isn't Paula, then you've just said somethin' stupid.)
I'm trying to say, "It's now or never!" Think about the people in your life who love you, and don't overlook the truth that they long to be close to you.
This letter may be just my imagination (running away with me) and you may think I'm very windy. And after my last letter about Clinton and Limbaugh, some of you may even want to get physical. But I will not again make the mistake of saying this will be my last letter, because most of you would say, "That'll be the day!"
I now offer this challenge to you: see how many Number 1 hit song titles you can count, which I've scattered throughout this letter. As you take on this challenge, think of all the good memories these songs bring back to you and your loved ones. Get reunited! There's no reason to be alone again (naturally).
If you are able to find all 50 song titles, then call me. I think I'll go play "The Streak" on my record player. I'm gonna fly now.
--Kenneth J. Wolf #28 (02/05/94)
The solution--Look at 50 song titles
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